How McDonald’s Influenced My Decision to Retire Abroad

Although I am a youthful 50 something, I had just enough years at my job for retirement on a decent pension. In fact, my income was just starting to peak and my job was getting easier … sometimes too easy. My dream to retire abroad always seemed a few years away.

Retirement did not immediately cross my mind. There were always a couple more debts to pay off, the value of some of my savings had taken a nose dive thanks to Wall Street, and I had the belief that I needed just a little bit more to retire to a comfortable lifestyle overseas.

Then, one day while driving home from work I stopped at McDonald’s for a dessert.  Having a cone was my usual fare to tide me over until dinner, but that day I decided to have a coke float. It tasted pretty good, and went down well, and did a good job of filling my tummy — making up for a missed lunch.
However, before I got home my stomach had begun to churn and gurgle. I hurried home without speeding and immediately ran to the bathroom for a period of deep meditation. The coke float that had gone down so well, was now trying its hardest to depart my body as rapidly as possible.

I spent a considerable amount of time meditating as the float made its escape. And finally, when I thought I was done, I hopped into the shower. But in the shower, the coke float informed me again that it was not quite done and I found myself meditating again, somewhat like Rodin’s Thinker — naked and still wet from the shower.

When I tried to stand again, I collapsed and passed out. I was unconcious for only a few minutes, but I was now too weak to stand and lay there on the floor, too weak to even move. At that moment, I seriously thought that this was the ‘big one’ and that my legacy was to be found naked on the bathroom floor, the ‘Prostrate Thinker,’ whose final act in life was a massive bowel movement.

And in that moment, all the things that I considered important — wealth, career, and home suddenly became  trivial. And I was sorely disappointed that I had never had the chance to pursue my real dreams and interests in life. My major accomplishment in life seemed to have been: that he earned enough money to pay off his credit card debt regularly.

Obviously, I did not pass away. But I had been given the fright of my life. The next day, the doctor informed me that it was most likely “just” a severe case of food poisoning and that I had fainted because of a loss of body fluids.
The day after the doctor’s visit, I walked into my boss’ office and informed him that I was putting in my paperwork for retirement. Sometimes, it takes a rude shock to make you really think about what’s important in life. I have since begun to manage my diet, exercise regularly, and pursue my own personal bucket list of things to do.

I have no regrets, although I am still making the transition into retirement. If not for that rather messy experience with an unruly coke float, I might still have my nose to the grindstone and chasing the American Dream. Instead, I’m sitting back and pursuing the dreams that I had postponed for the sake of a career. Hopefully, this magazine for overseas retirement will serve as a useful guide that shows others how to retire overseas.

Thanks, Ronald McDonald — I owe you one.

(Photo by: The D)

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