Expatriate Retirement: Reflections on Life Then and Now

It's nice when you can get off the treadmill when you retire.

It’s kind of interesting comparing my life as an expatriate to my life as a working stiff back in the States. I used to be a champ of a rat on the old treadmill. I rarely think of my old life, but when I do, it goes something like this:

Waking Up to a New Day

I had a decent paying, rewarding, but rather stressful job when I was working. I used to wake at 6:00 am every morning and promptly stay in bed until 7:00 am. I needed another hour just to lie there putting on my mental armor in preparation for the day and convincing myself that it was worth it. Even at 6:00 am my stomach started churning out the acids as it steeled itself for the day.

Today as an expatriate retiree, I wake up at about 4:30 (give or take a half hour), wash my face and go for a morning walk and jog. The sky is dark, the streets are empty, the air is cool, and my mind feels really, really happy to see the day. I will frequently pass another kindred soul jogging in the dark and we might smile in the darkness or say a quick good morning to one another.

Every 24 hours, I’m granted a brand new day and I no longer waste them.

Morning Preparations

Back in the good old days, I’d wash down and egg and toast with some coffee. Then rush into the shower, shave, and dress (sometimes I’d imagine myself putting on a bullet proof flak jacket and helmet). Then, I’d hop in the car and begin a 25 mile commute and enter a period of mental numbness during which my conciousness seemed suspended.

Every once in a while, I’d be conscious of my surroundings and give off an appropriate but stern grimace to some idiot who cut in front of me without warning. Then back to my state of mental numbness and before I knew it, I’d be pulling up at work – with almost no recollection of the past hour sitting in traffic. Every day, I’d lose two hours of my life somewhere in this traffic Twilight Zone.

Today, as I jog I’m acutely aware of every minute. I don’t feel a need for armor to face the day. When I return to the condo, I shower, shave and dress casually and comfortably. I have some hot oatmeal with bananas and a toast and egg. Despite my breakfast of cholesterol and caffeine, my blood pressure is down and my cholesterol is normal.

Each moment seems alive and worth living.

Work

I started the day answering a box full of emails most of which deal with some kind of problem that appeared in the middle of the night. It felt like there was a group of gremlins working the midnight shift to manufacture problems for me during the night. And whoever hired those gremlins sure did a good job, because the problems that awaited me each morning were definitely the most creative, complex, and sometimes funny problems that anyone could imagine.

After the emails, I would arrange for meetings to deal with the most pressing problems. It wasn’t always problem-solving. Often times, the problem was nothing more than some angst that a worker felt, and my job was to sit there and let them rant and rave, and pretend with a serious and engaging look on my face … that I really gave a damn. And, that took care of maybe 95% of the problems. Someone needed to yell at me, get it off their chest, and dump the problem in my lap and then the organizational machine went back to working smoothly.

The remaining 5% of the problems were actual problems that required some creative thinking. It often meant being a creative writer in producing a grant report that explained how we used a half million dollars wisely. Of course, a lot of times it was used foolishly, because that’s what the grant required. Ahhh … I was so good at writing foolish grants, for a foolish government, that achieved very little except earn some politician points, and then writing up a report that showed how well the money was used. All across America, a cadre of overworked administrators were doing the same thing to keep the political machine running and to consume our fair share of the pork. Silly me, a lot of times I actually tried to do something productive with the grant!

Today, I blog for my work. I don’t worry about a paycheck, I don’t worry about what others will think, I don’t worry about out-dogging someone else in this dog eat dog world. I blog what I want, when I want, and do it to please myself. If I earn no money it all, it’s all the same.

Sometimes, I will travel to new places around the city digging up a story, doing some photography, and doing some research. It’s really amazing what a difference work is like when you are able to do it for its own sake, rather than because you are paid for it and perform tasks on someone else’s agenda.

I still make foolish mistakes, but it’s much easier to take life to the limit and go for the gold – not the gold of wealth or fame, but the gold of living life without compromise and hesitation.

Lunch

Back in the day, there were too many deadlines to meet. I’d usually skip lunch and maybe grab a Big Mac or Pizza Hut Pan Pizza later in the afternoon when I took a break and wolfed it down on the drive back to the office. If I didn’t eat at all, I’d stop somewhere for an ice cream or milk shake later in the day when going home.

Today, I prepare my own lunches. If I want to eat American, it’s a tuna sandwich on whole wheat bread with some carrot sticks. If I want to eat local, it’s rice and fish or chicken, usually leftovers from the night before. I should be having cholesterol withdrawals but, I’m feeling fit and notice that I’m losing the spare tire around my waist and have to tighten my belt another notch to hold up my pants. Feeling pretty buff for a 50 something dude.

It’s a new experience learning to live life that is not concerned about performing tasks that need to be done, but is focused instead on maintaining the right balance of body and mind to go about performing tasks.

Evenings

In the past, evenings were either for finishing up the work of the day to meet some deadline or pure escapism. In the moments that were free, my favorite activities for the night was to watch some good old shoot ‘em up movie, with a body count of at least 50 dead and dying to unwind. Or it would be playing my favorite online game – which happened to be Lineage 2. In that game, I could play my character and go around hunting other players and “PK” them.  Of course, the “victims” on television or in the game always seemed to look like someone from work that had gotten on my nerves for one reason or another that day.

Today, my evenings are without the violent movies or online games. I kind of enjoy watching the equivalent of MTV in Cebu City. My current project is learning the words to “Dahil Minahal Mo Ako” a popular song by Sarah Geronimo, a pinay singer and actress. The song is not only a nice one, but it airs with subtitles in Tagalog (the primary Filipino language) and it’s a good way to develop recognition of printed Tagalog words and pronunciation. And slowly, I’m learning more words and easing myself into learning a foreign language.

If I have the need to socialize, I’ll go a visit a local karaoke bar where I’ll have a beer or two and sing a few “oldies but goodies”. I think of myself as a one man 80’s music revival in Cebu City and you’ll be hearing the Eagles, Creedence Clearwater Revival, the Beatles, Boz Scaggs, etc. in my wake.

And, if I have the need to be an academic again, then I’m doing research on some country, some historical or cultural event, or major world trends today.

When I was young, I gave up many dreams to do what was practical in the world of work. It’s nice not having to live to be practical for work, but learning how to live your dreams.

Life’s pretty good.

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